Keep Going!!!

Written 7/10/2010

I don’t normally mow the yard...I usually let (and by let, I mean, pay) someone else do that for me...BUT today as I sat out on the patio and pondered things in life I struggle with it seemed as if the grass was growing just as quickly as the questions were in my mind.

I, like everyone, have things that come into my life that make me question and think and wonder and hope and even feel a bit discouraged at times. AND I -- because I tend to over-think a bit -- ((OK, if you know me at all, you know that by saying ‘a bit’ I am utilizing poetic license here & am being very generous with myself in the estimation of that particular trait)) started letting the few little things I was pondering turn in to struggles about the very direction and the purpose and meaning of my life and analyzing and estimating all the effects of my mistakes -- OR were they mistakes? OR were they missed opportunities? OR had I destroyed what God had for me? OR had I just had negative reactions to positive things? OR positive reactions to negative things? OR how could I know or not know? OR is this what life has in store for me? OR have I missed my call? OR? OR? OR? ((That’s just a small glimpse into the over-active mind of an over-thinker...and that’s a glimpse of the thoughts which occur in probably a 30 seconds or less... ;))...

As I sat & wrestled with my thoughts, I also struggled with the fact that my yard seemed to be turning in to a jungle before my eyes & that finding King in the grass that was in places getting close to being eye-level for him was becoming no less of a challenge than the other things I was dealing with.

Maybe I didn’t have the answers to all my questions... BUT... I did have a lawnmower and I believed I could probably make it work. I headed out to the shed with a new determination to get things done. I often have trouble starting the mower (by often, I mean, the one time I have tried since I lived here it didn’t go well ;) because of a difficulty with my right hand, but today I was determined I could get things going. I filled the tank up with gas, pushed the red little button-thingy to prime the mower, positioned my hand on the handle and pulled -- AND the mower hummed to life.

I felt pretty good about that accomplishment and I swung the mower around to face the yard. As I did, I realized I was pushing a mower into deep terrain which was soggy and likely unsuitable for mowing. Not to mention that the heat and humidity had climbed to a level that had made just starting the mower a sweaty endeavor.

Hmmmm... This may be impossible... Do I dare attempt to do it? I hesitated for just a second before something (God’s voice, maybe ?!?!) whispered in my ear...ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

And, so off I went! I pushed the mower through the grass and watched as what had plagued me as insurmountable as I sat on the patio quickly fell beneath the mower’s blades. I was doing well. This was no big deal...

AND...then it happened!!!

The mower started to bog down and sputter and make that noise that let me know that it was just about to die. SO...I lifted it up! I lifted it up! I held it there for as long as it took for the mower to kick back into gear AND I kept going! As I made rounds around the backyard pushing the mower along the bogging down, sputtering & nearly dying happened more than once. BUT, every time I lifted it up & waited the right amount of time, I was able to keep going & accomplish the task before me.

I finished the yard and felt a real sense of accomplishment as I realized that what seemed like something that was IMPOSSIBLE was merely DIFFICULT! BUT...it was done!!!

My weeds were cut down & I sat back down on my patio to survey all I had been able to accomplish -- All I had been able to accomplish with the right tool & the perseverance to see the task through. I realized that the same was true of my struggles. I realized that if I was willing to tackle the jungle of weeds that make up my concerns and my questions and my insecurities and my doubts with the right tools (God’s word & guidance) and with perseverance that what seems impossible can be accomplished.

Sure there are & will be places where the weeds seem too high for me to push through, where my motor starts to bog down & where it seems I may not make it...BUT...all I have to do is LIFT IT UP, Wait on God for things to straighten out & keep going!

Maybe the difference between impossible & difficult is a simple matter of perseverance -- perseverance & prayer!!!

If your mower is bogged down and your struggling to put one foot in front of the other, LIFT IT UP, WAIT on the Lord, & He will give you the strength to Keep Going!

AND, if you have trouble remembering that, next time I will be happy to let you come over & mow the yard... ;)... ;) ...

PS...There are often verses or words from others that get me through, inspire my writings, seem to just go right along with what I feel like God is saying or even words from songs that stream from my iPod seemingly right on cue when I hit the Shuffle button that just seem right for the moment ...I’m including some of those words from today in hopes that they will help you too.

Lyrics from Hold Fast by Mercy Me

To everyone who's hurting

To those who've had enough

To all the undeserving

That should cover all of us

Please do not let go

I promise there is hope

Hold fast

Help is on the way

Hold fast

He's come to save the day

What I've learned in my life

One thing greater than my strife

Is His grasp

So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?

Can we stop this ride?

Will we see the sun at last?

Or could this be our lot in life?

Please do not let go

I promise you there's hope

Hold fast...

Lyrics from Walk By Faith by Jeremy Camp & Lyrics to Safe in His Arms by Phil Wickham have also brought me a great deal of encouragement & peace in recent days!

IT'S NOT MINE...

It’s not MINE...

Lately, I have gotten a lot of feedback and compliments on MY house... IT’S NOT MINE!!! That must seem like an odd statement.

Let me explain...

Last night as I sat on the back patio I was thanking God for all the blessings in this life -- the ones I sometimes choose to overlook. And my heart began to break. I thought of the drug addict all alone shivering in an alley, the patient in a hospital or nursing home with no one to hold their hand and tell them things will be OK, the teenager fleeing abuse and neglect and living on the street somewhere with an empty stomach and a broken heart -- I cried. I prayed. I went to bed.

I woke up this morning thinking about what separates me from these people & I realized it was very little & oh-so-much! I have been given things, chances, people in my life that they don’t have & I have a GOD that I know and that I know I can trust to be there with me no matter where I am.

This really got me to thinking. I started to thank God for all MY stuff...MY stuff!!!... MY stuff??? Nope, God wasn’t hearing it. IT’S NOT MINE! It’s HIS!!! Every great, good, beautiful, lovable, wonderful thing in my life is HIS!

Hmmmm...So, it’s not MY house, MY car, MY job, MY friends, MY family...NOPE...None of it is mine! Do I get to use these things, enjoy these people? -- SURE -- but none of it is MINE!

Well, God, if it’s not MINE, How will I ever control it???

AND I realized that I can’t and I won’t and I shouldn’t.

BUT wait... There is something that is MINE...MY Control Issues... Right, God??? And He said -- ‘YES!!! BUT give me those & I will help you see that they aren’t a necessary part of your life & aren’t part of the blessings I have for you.’

Wow...IT’S NOT MINE!

God has chosen to share some really great things with me. Things He is sharing with me, things he wants me to be a good steward of and to care for and do what I can for, but to ultimately realize that they just aren’t MINE.

If you don’t know me well, you probably don’t realize how BIG -- I mean, HUGE -- this is for me. I like to know that things are MINE. MY, MY, MY __________________ (fill in the blank.) I like the feeling I get when I possess something, own it, know it belongs to me, especially if it’s something I don’t think anyone else has one exactly like. It gives me a sense of belonging & of control. AND, it’s an illusion...I don’t have control. And as poorly as I often do with it, it’s a million wonders I would want it. BUT seeing, feeling, knowing I don’t really have it has suddenly became a very free-ing thing for me! And, honestly, a bit of a scary thing, too!

IT’S NOT MINE! That doesn’t in any way relinquish me from the responsibilities I have for the things, people, gifts and blessings God has placed in my life. Quite the opposite actually -- If I remember to see every thing, person, relationship, etc that is in MY life (wait, not MY life, the life God is providing for me) as a gift from the hands of the God who paints the sunsets, built the mountains, created the seas, and spoke the world into existence, then maybe I should be careful as to how I handle ALL the things that He has entrusted into my care for such time as He sees fit.

That all sounds good, fine, and wonderful & TRUE...AND it is... BUT does that mean I think that I will suddenly not have the control issues that have plagued me for years -- those issues based mostly on fear -- No, maybe not. BUT I also realize that in exchange for all the blessings that God has given me, He is willing to take some things from me too. He will take my burdens & my struggles & my issues (and there are certainly plenty of those) and He will teach me and help me to let those things go, so that I can have room to receive more blessings that He has to share with me.

I know that accepting this and walking it out in my life won’t be easy...BUT, I also know that if I ask God, He will remind me as often as I think that something is MINE -- MY friends, MY relationships, MY house, MY problems, MY car, MY wounded feelings, MY_____________ -- that it is not MINE. That whatever IT is, IS HIS and that He will help me take care of it.

So, friend, what is YOURS??? What are you holding on to today -- good or bad -- that if given to God would simply become what He means for it to be???

Don’t expect it to be easy to give it up. It can be, but it may not be either. BUT when it is HIS, it’s good!

Thank Him for your blessings & remember to Thank Him for sharing them with you since the are HIS. Release to Him your burdens for those are His too and He will use them too if you let Him.

IT’S NOT MINE!!! IT’S NOT YOURS!!! IT IS HIS!!!

"The earth is the LORD's, and EVERYthing in it, the world and ALL who live in it;" Psalms 24:1